"Men cannot heal you. Sex cannot heal you. Drinking cannot heal you..."

Written by Dear Black Woman Ciera

Ciera
Being in a relationship is not what is going to heal you. Men cannot heal you. Sex cannot heal you. Drinking cannot heal you. Smoking cannot heal you.
— Ciera

Dear Strong Girl,

For years, you have been searching for the affirmation of others to spur you on. If other people saw you as strong, beautiful, smart, and loving, then all would be right in the world. But while those affirmations have sustained you, and puffed you up for a while, you realize now that it is not enough.

Here are seven things I want you to remember:

  1. The joy of the Lord is your strength and everything that happens in for your good and God’s glory. While in the midst, it does not feel like this, you will see the fruits of your labor soon enough. You will see the fruits of your faith. You will see the fruits of waiting. You will see the joy that comes with pursuing your dreams first and foremost and giving all glory and honor to God during the process. 

  2. Being in a relationship is not what is going to heal you. Men cannot heal you. Sex cannot heal you. Drinking cannot heal you. Smoking cannot heal you. Allow yourself the opportunity to heal and give yourself grace in the process.

  3. Sustaining the journey of healing will be the catalyst for what you are seeking your life to look like. Trust the process. 

  4. You are beautiful with weave, braids, bald, afro, twists, and wigs. Your hair does not define you. 

  5. You don’t have to be strong for everyone else. You cannot save the world. You can’t even save yourself. Give it to God. 

  6. You cannot save the world. You cannot save yourself. Give it to God. 

  7. You are worthy. Beyond worthy. Of a love that is patient, love that is kind. Love that does not envy or boast. Love that is not proud and does not dishonor others. Love that is not self-seeking or easily angered or keeping track of your wrongs. You are worthy of a love that does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Believe that you are worthy. Trust that you are worthy. Tell yourself over and over that you are worthy. Allow no one to treat you any less than the worthiness you deserve and need. People who cannot treat you with the worthiness that you deserve are not welcome in your life. Let them go. 

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"You need to look at me and to know that you are me and that we are fine the way we are."